Samuel L Jackson Makes Absolute Mincemeat Of This Squidly White News Anchor For Confusing Him With Lawrence Fishburne

I understand this news anchor sucks ass and does no fact checking whatsoever. But how do you mistake Samuel L Jackson for anybody? He’s arguably the most famous black actor in Hollywood. He’s even wearing his god damn patented backwards kangaroo hat! Love how Sammy L just leeeeeaned into this reporter too. White reporter thinks he’s going to spit in Sammy’s face and be able to change the subject? Think again fatso. This is mutha fuckin Sammy L Jackson! He’ll make you look like an absolute chump 12 times a day if you insult him. Clean this shit up, racist white news reporter, cause this shit is embarrassing.

And apparently he’s the entertainment reporter? So his sole job is to know actors. That’s it. One job and you fucked up.

– Silky Mitts

Original Link: TMZ

Bonus: 100 greatest samuel L jackson quotes

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2014 Men’s Olympic Ice Hockey Preview

Can’t fucking wait. Easily the greatest sporting event ever is Men’s olympic ice hockey. The passion, the dedication, the will to win for your country, Lundqvist’s face, it’s all there. Last winter olympics were great and the championship game was incredible. Wish USA won instead but great game nonetheless. So here are a couple things to note…

Ovie’s skates are SCORCHING hot.

Jesus Ovechkin! This blog just started and you’re already burning the whole place down! Just an absolute savage move rockin these bad boys. Now, as for actual notes on the games and what not, lets take a look at the first couple games…

Capture

Sweden vs. the czechs will be a pretty decent game. Lundqvist is comin in this tourney as the hottest goalie. He’s also been playing really well lately. Sweden should definitely win this game but with snipers in the likes of elias and jagr, czechs aren’t a team you necessarily wanna over look. Chara is the only good player on Slovakia so my guess for the final score of USA vs. slovakia is 7-1 USA.

Here’s a video to inspire usa fans…

god fucking damnit I love olympic hockey. Still not pumped up? Here is Parise’s tying goal from last olympics to bring the gold medal game into OT

He was named the captain of this years squad also. Couldn’t be happier. Great talent, great leader. Gonna be a good one this year, hope the good guys can bring home the gold. If you still don’t have a rock hard patriotic erection in your pants here are some other things America

boobies!

go america!

– Silky Mitts

Shakira’s Ass Is Literally So Powerful That Colombia Wants To Ban Her New Video, Which By The Way Just Made Me Rip A Hole Through My Pants

Dear Mother of God! Stop the fight! Shakira’s ass just putting a god damn beat down on dicks from sea to shining sea! Did you see the way she was grinding up on the wall? I would murder the 10 closest people in my life if it meant I got to lick the wall a year after this video. That ass as some unreal hypnotic powers and I love it.

Anyway, to talk about the article…some columbian broad is complaining because Shakira’s ass is lights out and I’m guessing she’s a 55 year old shriveled up blue-haired whose pussy hasn’t seen any action since early 80’s. So of course she wants it banned. Now if you excuse me I’m going to rub one out so hard the friction’s gonna be able to start a fire.

shakira 1

– Silky Mitts

Original Link: CNN

Stamkos Will Not Play In Sochi

“I know, in the best interest of my long term health, I cannot represent Canada in Sochi, as much as I would like to.”

Damn shame. As much as this is awesome cause it just makes USA’s chances that much better of winning, it’s always a shame when someone this talented has to be sidelined. But now the question on everyone’s minds, who’s gonna replace him? Some people are saying Neal, some are saying Giroux, but those same people probably have an IQ a couple points above an unplugged toasted oven.  Neal’s very good but if he plays for Florida or Buffalo no one knows he exists. Giroux has been decent the past couple years but fact of the matter is he sucks this year and Canada doesn’t need another center. They have enough.

The obvious answer? Stamkos teammate Martin St. Louis. Man has been absolutely LIGHTING IT UP this year and guess who he plays with? Bunch of fuckin rookies. Rookie Tyler Johnson is 2nd in points amoungst rookies this year but that is 95% because he’s been getting borderline erotic silky sauces from MSL all year. Tampa’s gonna be a real fuckin scary team to play after the olympics with Stammer back and 100%. Real scary.

– Silky Mitts

p.s. One man who has been reeeeeeal overlooked…Joe Thorton. 10th in the league in points and tied for 1st in assists. Not saying he should get the nod over MSL but having the most assists in the show right now is not something to forget.

Original Link: NHL

 

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