Nazi Enthusiast Who Named His Children “Adolf Hitler” and “JoyceLynn Aryan Nation” Legitimately Confused Why He Has To Fight In Court For Custody Of His Children. Oh and He Showed Up To Court In Full Blown Nazi Threads.

This story is an absolute riot.  This proves how dumb people like this father are. His kids Little Adolf and Aryan Nation are taken away from him so naturally there’s only one logical thing to do to get them back…show up to court dressed to the Nazi 9’s. This bro fucked up so many times it’s comical. Name your kid after the #2 most hated man (Lebron #1) in the world? Check. Prove to the court you’re a sane man who can handle children by dressing in nazi clothes? Check. Make sure your sweet new swastika tat is poppin out for the judge and jury to see? Check.  Absolute looney central.

I know this is a free country and all so you’re free to do what you want. But bro, you can’t seriously think you can rock (the OG) Hitler’s outfit to a US court and expect people to give you the benefit of the doubt?  I could wear my bed sheet over my head to the middle of Detroit but if I expect anything but a prompt stabbing I’m as foolish as a Mets fan. So just take a breath, look in the mirror, and kill yourself. Cause you’re not only making yourself look ridiculous but you’re making Little Adolf and Aryan pretty embarrassed too.

– Silky Mitts

Original Link: Barstool Sports

p.s. Bro, your ball n chain…woof.

p.p.s. Want to make fun of the shit on his upper lip so bad but it doesn’t hold a match to Jordon’s hitler stash.

So nasty. So cocky. So Jordon.

There’s No Way These Parents Are So Terrible They Would Shove Their Kid In A Dog Cage Strapped To The Back Of A Pickup Truck…Right?

So I already had a whole thing typed up about how degrading this must be for the girl. How it’s gotta be top 3 most embarrassing things in the entire world. I mean, you’re a human, locked inside a fucking dog cage, on the back of a moving pickup truck. Everyone can see you cramped into a cage that a small dog sleeps in.  But apparently the daughter requested that she be in the back of the truck for the ride. The parents claim that she wanted to ride…in a dog cage…in the back of a pickup truck… on the pennsylvania turnpike. Umm okay, sure thing. This girl requested to be shoved into a cage like I requested to be an unemployed blogger talking about useless news stories. This story just absolutely SCREAMS hick so loud I can hear the mothers dip spit spewing down her necks.

The best part about this story is in the video below when their grandmother says “these parents were just granting her request, they would never put her in any danger”. Ummmm newsflash honey, they just put their 10 year old daughter in a dog cage on the back of a pick up truck. What the hell is your definition of “danger”?

– Silky Mitts

Original Link: NY Post

p.s. So I just read the rest of the article and apparently the girl claimed she just wanted to be with her dog for the trip. IIIIIII kind of feel like an asshole. Cause there’s no greater bond between a human and a dog. I would gladly throw 3, 4, 500 cats in front of a speeding 18 wheeler just to talk to my dog on the phone.

Spawn Of Satan Evicting Her 91 Year Old WW2 Veteran Grandfather Out Of His Own House That He Built.

I’ve read some messed up shit before, but this may take the cake for the most evil, sinister thing someone can do. You’re kicking him out of a house that he created. Like, he built it. Himself. He’s too old, where’s he supposed to go? Look at him, he’s, too old! Unreal anyone would do this to their own grandfather who served in WW2. This American fought in battle so people like this bitch can be free and eat bacon whenever they fucking want. How do you eat bacon and still have an urge to evict your grandfather? It’s fucking bacon. Chicks got a soul as dirty as Harriet Tubman’s grundle and heart as icey as the lakes in canada.

If I was this bro I would call over my old army buddies and go straight torture status. Only thing people as cold as her can understand. I’m talking like water-boarding, pealing her fingernails off, boring her with army stories. Hearing stories from your grandfather that you’ve already heard 40 billion times is so rough. If she’s able to get away with this I may have to take action myself. And when Silky Mitts takes action into his own hands, Silky Mitts gets the job done. That’s a promise.

– Silky Mitts


Original Link: ABC

p.s. Cool it with the gums, toots. Shit’s nasty.

No Big Deal Just A Family That Was Never Taught To Walk On 2 Legs.

Bizarro city, population this family. I mean is that even comfortable? What the hell do you get out of walking on all fours? Bro, you look like a monkey. We’re homo erectus now, you can walk upright. Act like it. And it’s not like they’re crawling, cause their knees never touch the floor. Just their hands and feet scrapping dirt and rocks and shit all day. I don’t get it. You’re gonna cut up your hands, get them dirty, calluses destroying your entire hand like you read about. Call me crazy but I don’t see any positives coming out of this. Walk like a monkey for so long your backs gonna morph and you won’t be able to stand up straight at all. Forget about ever having pleasurable sex ever again. The only purpose for sex for you will be strictly to procreate and everyone knows that’s the only downside of fucking. That and trying to slink out of her apartment in the middle of the night without her noticing. Point is, this may be the stupidest thing you could do for no reason. They get no benefit, we get no benefit, everyone loses. No one cares you’re trying to be different cause you look like idiots. Not trying to be mean, just laying down the facts.

– Silky Mitts


Original Link: Slate

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