Chicago’s Turn to Unveil Their Stadium Series Jerseys….

Yesterday the Detroit Red Wings unveiled their winter classic, stadium series, whatever the fuck they’re calling their game, jerseys. I thought they were pretty cool. Saw a lot of mixed reviews but would say 60/40 didn’t like them. Those twitter eggs just like to critique everything for the sake of being a cynical asshole. They were simple with a new-agey logo of just the letter D, which is pretty retro in itself. Whatever, These Mitts are tired of talking about the Red Wings sweaters.

The Blackhawks usually always have phenomenal jerseys. Their regular ones are probably the nicest jerseys in sports and their past winter classic sweaters have been nice. There’s no point in writing a whole blog about how disgusting a jersey is, so let’s see how they top themselves this year…

 

 

 

 

 

 

CUlrvhDXAAAHtEE

UMMMMM WHAT?!?!?!?!

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Those are the most disgusting jerseys I’ve ever seen! They deserve their own blog to be written about them they’re so terrible. They look like jerseys you get at roller tourneys for free. Like they should have an advertisement from the local pizzeria on the bottom or youjizz.com or something. It’s like it’s boring and complicated at the same time. Sort of like literal vomit.

I feel like I would see some shit rapper wear this on stage because he got it at Lids on the low low. The fronts just basic but they make it shiny and they have the stripes being interrupted by their other logo, AND THAT COLLAR?!?!?! Can we talk about the collar? Looks like some fuckstick made half and said fuck it I’m going home. I’ve never been so irrationally angry at something that doesn’t concern me.

Overall score: 1.8/10

– Silky Mitts

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Coincidence? I Think Not…

Top two trending on twitter…

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hmmmm

Kane SM

As you might know, Chicago Blackhawks superstar Patrick Kane has been involved in a sexual assault case that has been handled very carefully for the past couple months. Well today, the case was decided…

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NHL – Chicago Blackhawks forward Patrick Kane will not face charges for an incident at his house in Hamburg, N.Y., in August. 

Erie County District Attorney Frank A. Sedita III said in a statement Thursday: “The totality of the credible evidence — the proof — does not sufficiently substantiate the complainant’s allegation that she was raped by Patrick Kane and this so-called ‘case’ is rife with reasonable doubt. Accordingly the Office of the Erie County District Attorney will not present this matter to an Erie County Grand Jury.”

So while I’m not saying the two twitter trends of “Patrick Kane” and “#TheSuperHeroWeActuallyNeed” are related I’m also saying they aren’t not related. No doubt this is huge for Blackhawks and Chicago fans as they will not be missing their 3-time Stanley Cup Champion for any games this year, baring injury.

Interesting to see how the rest of the leagues fans handle this when Hawks come to town, considering…

Brain Dead Female Reporter Asks Patrick Kane If Last Night Was His First OT Game Winner…

Probably should have just left the “female” part out of the title, since it’s a given. That was asked by Peggy Kusinski and this seriously this has to got be 100% the dumbest question I have ever heard. Has Kane scored any OT goals? G toots lemme think…

I guess maybe she thought since that goal was to win the STANLEY CUP that it didn’t count? This woman should be stripped of her title as a journalist and as a human. can’t be havin a bunch of chicken heads runnin amok in hockey locker rooms asking questions a 2 year old knows. Maybe she should ask if he beats up cab drivers too? Or if he goes to colleges around the nation and makes every whores wet dream come true? I understand it’s not this womans fault since I’m assuming her IQ falls somewhere in between Terry Shiavo and a light post. But you just can’t be doin this shit. Not now. Not during the playoffs. Clean it up, shut it down.

– Silky Mitts

UPDATE: I guess it was a joke?

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peggy 1

oooooo you were being sarcastic! lol! That was a good one! Get the fuck outta here with that shit. I may be dumb but I’m not an idiot. Don’t spit on my dick and tell me it’s raining. You fucked up and instead of manning owning up to the fuck up you’re trying to cover your tracks. Absolutely erroneous.

p.s. NBC-5 Sports. Your reporter Peggy…woof…

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@fgsilkymitts

Duncan Keith Chirps At Backes Saying “Wakey Wakey, Backes” After He Got Demolished.

Sooo in case you didn’t hear it or see it, St. Louis Blues player David Backes got his shit absolutely WRECKED by Brent Seabrook. Backes seemed to have as much brain function as a light post after he got hit and Chicago defenseman Duncan Keith chirped at him saying “wakey wakey”. Cause, you know, he got knocked the fuck out. And now apparently it’s causing a huge uproar. As a long time hockey player and fan, I truly have no clue what the fuck people are upset about. We’re not talking about the hit, we’re talking about the beaks on Keith. It was one of the funniest lines I’ve heard.

And what the most ridiculous part of this whole thing is that the same people who are angry about this must think that this was the dirtiest/scummiest thing that was said on the ice that day. FAR from it. The thing that players say on the ice to the opposition is unreal. Saying Wakey Wakey is the most PC thing that was probably said that day. The shit that I’ve heard in my day on the ice would make the average man vomit his gizzards out. One game I played in some dude told me he was going to skull fuck my mother and write a  book about it. And this was the 2nd game of the year in a Division 2 club hockey team that didn’t matter. I laughed my ass after that chirp because it was hilarious. I understand Wakey Wakey was probably not in good taste cause Backes could have been seriously injured, but the point remains the same…it was hilarious. And really, that’s what chirps are all about.

– Silky Mitts

p.s. One of the greatest Chirp videos out there. Very well done.

Yo Pierre McGuire…You Just Got Facialed Bro.

Now I’m no fancy pants hockey announcer like this chode Pierre, but if I had to go on a hunch I would say trying to interview the captain of a team that just lost a game 7 in OT is probably the dumbest thing you can do. Couldn’t have been happier with Zetterberg’s reaction. Yo, Pierre, the man needs to console with his team after a heart breaking defeat. Get lost you fucking door knob.

– Silky Mitts

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