Anyone See Those Levitating Cars in China? Well They “Solved” it, Was Just a Loose Tangled Wire!

 

OHHHHH so it was just a wire mix up ey? Some random loose wire on the street wrapped up two buses and a car? Well that solves it, guess we don’t have to look into this anymore!

Seriously China, that’s the best you got? You may be able to fool the mooks in Washington or the suits on Wall Street but not this guy, not Silky Mitts! This is China, they’re already the closest things to Aliens so if you don’t think that I know this was alien voodoo than you’re a dink. Listen China and Aliens have been working together since before you and I were born. And the government knows it.

You’re telling me the people that eat live cats and who puke into each others mouths for fun AREN’T related to Aliens? Fuck out of my face with these shenanigans. It’s insulting to me, it’s insulting to my country. I won’t stand for this garbage. Just admit whatever project you were working on with GleepGlop and the Martians went awry and I’ll go back to blogging about gorgeous looking flow on NHLers from the boxers on my couch. Seriously China I eat enough disgusting leftover food I don’t need you pissing on my face also.

– Silky Mitts

p.s. I just realized that I probably figured out all of china’s secrets so my computer may explode sooooooo if you’re reading this just kidding lolololOLOloLOlolOLO I know its just a wire *wink wink*

p.s.s If I go missing anytime soon tell Hagelin he’s got luscious flow.

Advertisements

The Fact That China Hasn’t Taken Over Our Country Yet Blows My Mind

When I was in high school I had to walk down my street and I was at school. Took about 5-8 minutes. And I hated it. Felt like a decathlon. And I was in high school. These chinese kids are in elementary school and not only do they walk great lengths to get to school, they have to go through an obstacle course. Balancing on wet, mossy rocks. Climbing up completely vertical ladders with an 80-90 % chance of falling off. I mean look at that shot at the 10 second mark in the video. That’s the path that these 10 year olds have to take EVERY DAY? Uh sorry, I would take not knowing my times tables over attending this school and increasing my risk of instant death any day. Hey mommy look i’m climbing up this broken ladder to get to school take a picutreeeee I’M DEAD! I get nervous when I climb up step ladders to fix a light bulb, these kids must have absolute ice in the veins.

It’s shit from China like this that seriously makes me wonder why China has not taken over America yet. They have over a billion more people than us and they start training kids for the military in elementary school. And yes, I know that’s why these kids take this path to school. You want to tell me that out of every way possible these kids can take to school, the one with a 95% death rate is the easiest? Out of my face, China. We’re not stupid over here, we can read between the lines. You’re training them at a young age to take over the world. You know it, I know it, everyone and their grandparents knows it. Don’t necessarily hate the approach, just don’t make a news story that this is the only path they can take when you’re clearly in phase 1 of world domination.

– Silky Mitts

@FGsilkymitts

Got any good tips on stories? Wanna share your own? Send them to silkymitts7@yahoo.com. All stories are appreciated.

%d bloggers like this: