Power Move: Woman(?) Dresses Her Pet Anteaters In Human Clothes

 

https://i2.wp.com/i1.mirror.co.uk/incoming/article3391774.ece/ALTERNATES/s2197/Anteater-3391774.jpg

Where is your God now?!?! This seriously might be one of the most psychotic things I’ve seen in my life. I’m not talking about the anteaters dressed to the 9’s. I’m talking about that thing that dresses them. The article says it’s a woman? No shot that’s a woman. I’ve seen really ugly women before. Like vial, unfortunate looking hogs. I’ve woken up hungover next to them on occasion. But this isn’t one of them. This thing shows no indication of being a woman. And don’t give me this “long hair” shit. Hippie bros rocked that hair like it was their job back in the day. Not to mention that freshly shaved mustache is screaming at me through my computer screen.

Could you imagine walking down the road and seeing this thing walking down power ant eaters in sweaters? I would turn around and walk the other way so fast you’d think I just saw an ex-girlfriend. I’ve crossed the street when people are walking their dogs or I see 1 or more black people. No way in HELL I’m passing a crew of ant eaters and a bat shit insane man-woman-beast. Might as well pack my things and shake hands with the devil himself.

– Silky Mitts

Original Link: Barstool Sports

 

p.s. I’d be remiss if I didn’t include this picture. Everyone knows red leather makes the girls weak in their knees. Sucks for all the other bro ant eaters who will have to wait for this guys left overs.

EMERGENCY P.P.S: Realized who this woman looks EXACTLY like…

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Spitting image.

 

 

Barney’s and NYPD In Hot Water After Arresting Kid Who Bought $350 Belt Because They Didn’t Think Someone Like Him Could Afford It.

Pictured is Trayon Christian, the kid who Barney’s thought there was no way could buy a $350 belt. I’m not one to pull out the race card, cause, well, I’m white. I don’t need to. Ever. But I gotta pull the race card on this one. I mean, this dude’s name is Trayon Christian. That’s way too close to Trayvon Martin. Barney’s saw some kid named Trayon, immediately didn’t trust him, and called the cops. I know it, you know, everyone and their gumar knows it. Love how Barney’s is playing the dumb card too. Like Oh, we do this shit all the time, oh he’s black? I had no idea he was black! Seriously! Listen, everyone is entitled to their own opinion, and if you’re gonna be racist than be racist. But don’t spit on my dick and tell me it’s raining.

p.s. So much money just for a belt, uh? Probably a lucky white belt. You can never have enough lucky white belts.

– Silky Mitts

Original Link: Gothamist

Abercrombie and Fitch Not Lookin So Good Telling People They’d Rather Burn Clothing Than Give It To The Homeless.

So an A&F spokesman came out the other day admitting that they would rather burn their faulty clothing than donate to charity. They say poor people wearing their clothes is bad for their image. I want to go on record saying that’s horrible, disgraceful and inhumane. With that said, I completely understand why they’re doing this. This is a business, it’s not a charity organization. If anyone could wear their product, no one would. Personally I don’t wear any of their clothing. Kinda gay. But bottom line is if I see someone wearing A&F clothing I assume they can support themselves financially. If I was walking in NYC and saw a homeless guy sporting a flamboyant, torn A&F shirt I would assume that everyone who’s anyone can score their merch. Which would result in me judging everyone I see wearing their shit. No one wins.

Imagine you’re taking a girl out on a first date. You just had a great dinner and you’re walking out the joint and a guy living on the street who smells like dog shit asks you for spare change and is wearing the exact same shirt as you. Buzz kill city. If you’re stupid enough to think you can get laid after an incident like that I have a bridge to sell you.

– Silky Mitts

@FGsilkymitts

Original Link: Gather

p.s. The people that make “snuggie” should donate their robes to the homeless. Hobo’s don’t want to wear stupid Abercrombie shirts with a random date stitched on them. They want to be comfortable while living on the street. Snuggie, get on that.

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