2014 Men’s Olympic Ice Hockey Preview

Can’t fucking wait. Easily the greatest sporting event ever is Men’s olympic ice hockey. The passion, the dedication, the will to win for your country, Lundqvist’s face, it’s all there. Last winter olympics were great and the championship game was incredible. Wish USA won instead but great game nonetheless. So here are a couple things to note…

Ovie’s skates are SCORCHING hot.

Jesus Ovechkin! This blog just started and you’re already burning the whole place down! Just an absolute savage move rockin these bad boys. Now, as for actual notes on the games and what not, lets take a look at the first couple games…

Capture

Sweden vs. the czechs will be a pretty decent game. Lundqvist is comin in this tourney as the hottest goalie. He’s also been playing really well lately. Sweden should definitely win this game but with snipers in the likes of elias and jagr, czechs aren’t a team you necessarily wanna over look. Chara is the only good player on Slovakia so my guess for the final score of USA vs. slovakia is 7-1 USA.

Here’s a video to inspire usa fans…

god fucking damnit I love olympic hockey. Still not pumped up? Here is Parise’s tying goal from last olympics to bring the gold medal game into OT

He was named the captain of this years squad also. Couldn’t be happier. Great talent, great leader. Gonna be a good one this year, hope the good guys can bring home the gold. If you still don’t have a rock hard patriotic erection in your pants here are some other things America

boobies!

go america!

– Silky Mitts

Apparently Ball Hockey Is An Actual Thing…And The “Athletes” Lost Their Shit At The Championship Game.

(Scrap starts around 2:10)

I’ve never in my life seen anyone take their lives so seriously. It’s fucking ball hockey. No one cares bro. Relax.

In the 2013 ball hockey world championships Justin Pender goes full Hulk and has a rampage that ends with 2 injured Czechs, an official on a stretcher and something like 30 consecutive tweets which he’s trying to pass as an apology letter. Normally no one would say anything about cause it’s, ya know, ball hockey, only this guy plays in the ECHL so he’s somewhat known in the hockey community. Here’s a quick recap of what happened: Czech team puts in an empty net goal to take a 5-1 lead. The team then goes ape shit, jumping up onto the boards and what I only imagine is defined as “whyling out”. Pender then decideds to start cross czeching (cause fuck you, I make the puns) the nearest guy to him at the faceoff circle. The cross czechs go to full blown punches as hes landing hay-maker after hay-maker, tossing the man like an absolute ragdoll. The net minder for the Czech team then jumps on his own player. It looked like a scene outta The Office Beach Games when Dwight sumo jumped onto Andy. Anyways Pender continues his bro rage in front of a crowd filled with the players moms and dads. The ref somehow gets in the middle and goes down hard.

Moral of the story, don’t tell Pender that ball hockey’s for pussies.

-Fresh Twig

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