Red Wings Unveil New Stadium Series Sweaters

Nothing gets Silky Mitts dick harder than new hockey teams revealing their sweaters. Doesn’t take much to get me solid, but in order of things that give me a boner it would be new hockey jerseys, good whiskey and Lundqvist. Oh, and whores. Whores get me going too. But I digress, let’s see what they look like…





Red Wimgs Sweater

Silky smooth! Love um! Kind of has that old school feel but the D logo on the front looks slick and fresh. Hope Datsyuk stays healthy cause I need to see him in this bad boy. Red Wings will be wearing these on February 27th against the Colorado Avalanche in Colorado for the Stadium Series match.

Not to nit pick but don’t really like the “Red Wings” on the collar, but everything else makes me dizzy from the blood rushing from my head to my penis so, not bad.

Overall: 8.2/10

– Silky Mitts

What do you think? Feel free to let me know in the comments so I can tell you why you’re wrong if you disagree with me.

ESPN Bringing Back Their NHL Theme Song For The Frozen Four!!


Let’s fuckin gooo!! Erections! Erections everywhere!! Seriously this is one of if not the best sports theme song of all time. Actually, it definitely is. Couple others come close* but this one is unparallelled to the rest. I could probably run through a brick wall right now listening to this orgasmic master piece. Makes me think about the days of Hull, Yzerman, Sakic and all the other stars from the 90’s. Biggest mistake ESPN every made was not renewing their deal with the NHL. Hockey night on ESPN was great. NBCSports does a great job now, but if you prefer Mike “Doc” Emerick over Bill Clement you’re an asshole. Just a big, stretched out, leaky, asshole. Not to mention a young Erin Andrews started there.

So yeah ESPN resurrecting the greatest sports theme song is pretty cool. In case you’re only semi chub right now for whatever reason here are some Datsyuk highlights that would make the Jeffery Dahmer rapings look consensual. Hearing Clements call on that first goal was nostalgic as fuck.

– Silky Mitts



*they don’t.

Islanders and Maple Leafs Both Secure Playoff Spots, Red Wings In 9th As Of Now…Reassured God Does Not Exist.

God is either on a year long vacation or hell has frozen over. I swear to god this is the most backwards season of hockey I have ever witnessed. Islanders clinch a playoff spot with 2 whole games left, Leafs have been in for a week now, Datsyuk’s team is in 9th and “Two and a Half Men” continues to get renewed…there is no god. Am I the only one absolutely baffled by this? If you told me at the beginning of the season that the Islanders and Leafs would both be making the playoffs I would have super glued a dunce cap to your head and tie you to a stake so fast you wouldn’t even have enough time to say you were just kidding. Don’t I look foolish. This post season is going to be an absolute gong show.

– Silky Mitts


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