Pineda Got Thrown Out For Putting Pine Tar On His Neck? How?

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I seriously don’t know what the ump saw here. How did he spot that little blot on his neck? Looks like waldo out there. I mean i’ve been staring at this picture for an hour now scratching my head wondering what the ump saw. I mean I understand this EXACT SAME PITCHER already was caught using pine tar on his hand and just wiped it off earlier this exact same year and the head umpires son even warned his dad tonight that he would be cheating and this game was on national television with over 100 HD cameras but seriously, how did he get caught?

In all seriousness though out of all the things in the world that people are bad at, the number one thing would be Pineda at cheating. It’s comical at this point. Like did he think he was being discrete? He would have had a better chance putting the pine tar on the umps neck and just asking for a hug after every single pitch. Maybe just bring an industrial size vat of pine tar out to the mound. I think people would be more hesitant to question you if you pulled a move like that. K a few more batters before they’re on to you. I legitimately think that would have been sneakier. Such a blatant disregard for human lifeĀ I almost respect it. Like if you’re gonna cheat, show the people you dont give a fuck. Whatever, what’s done is done. Dude should be cut from the team for just general lack of intelligence.

– Silky Mitts

ESPN Bringing Back Their NHL Theme Song For The Frozen Four!!

 

Let’s fuckin gooo!! Erections! Erections everywhere!! Seriously this is one of if not the best sports theme song of all time. Actually, it definitely is. Couple others come close* but this one is unparallelled to the rest. I could probably run through a brick wall right now listening to this orgasmic master piece. Makes me think about the days of Hull, Yzerman, Sakic and all the other stars from the 90’s. Biggest mistake ESPN every made was not renewing their deal with the NHL. Hockey night on ESPN was great. NBCSports does a great job now, but if you prefer Mike “Doc” Emerick over Bill Clement you’re an asshole. Just a big, stretched out, leaky, asshole. Not to mention a young Erin Andrews started there.

So yeah ESPN resurrecting the greatest sports theme song is pretty cool. In case you’re only semi chub right now for whatever reason here are some Datsyuk highlights that would make the Jeffery Dahmer rapings look consensual. Hearing Clements call on that first goal was nostalgic as fuck.

– Silky Mitts

 

 

*they don’t.

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