Power Move: Woman(?) Dresses Her Pet Anteaters In Human Clothes

 

https://i2.wp.com/i1.mirror.co.uk/incoming/article3391774.ece/ALTERNATES/s2197/Anteater-3391774.jpg

Where is your God now?!?! This seriously might be one of the most psychotic things I’ve seen in my life. I’m not talking about the anteaters dressed to the 9’s. I’m talking about that thing that dresses them. The article says it’s a woman? No shot that’s a woman. I’ve seen really ugly women before. Like vial, unfortunate looking hogs. I’ve woken up hungover next to them on occasion. But this isn’t one of them. This thing shows no indication of being a woman. And don’t give me this “long hair” shit. Hippie bros rocked that hair like it was their job back in the day. Not to mention that freshly shaved mustache is screaming at me through my computer screen.

Could you imagine walking down the road and seeing this thing walking down power ant eaters in sweaters? I would turn around and walk the other way so fast you’d think I just saw an ex-girlfriend. I’ve crossed the street when people are walking their dogs or I see 1 or more black people. No way in HELL I’m passing a crew of ant eaters and a bat shit insane man-woman-beast. Might as well pack my things and shake hands with the devil himself.

– Silky Mitts

Original Link: Barstool Sports

 

p.s. I’d be remiss if I didn’t include this picture. Everyone knows red leather makes the girls weak in their knees. Sucks for all the other bro ant eaters who will have to wait for this guys left overs.

EMERGENCY P.P.S: Realized who this woman looks EXACTLY like…

https://i2.wp.com/content7.flixster.com/photo/49/35/66/4935661_ori.jpg

Spitting image.

 

 

Dude Buys Burger In 1999 And Holds On To It For 14 Years…Still Looks The Exact Same.

So this story is circulating the internet right now. People shocked that a shitty burger looks the exact same after 14 years. My question to concerned people…who gives a shit? Are people really shocked about this story? Like wait, the 89 cent piece of processed beef I paid for that was ready in 2 seconds isn’t fresh? No way!

I mean, if you’re making the conscious decision to eat fast food you obviously don’t care about your well being. And if you don’t eat fast food cause you’re a pussy vegan or whatever than this story doesn’t concern you anyway. I’m not casting judgement either, I love fast food. Eat it all the time. So fake it tastes delicious. But the fact that this burger doesn’t look any different than it did when it was made doesn’t concern me. Doesn’t concern me in the slightest. If I ordered a salad and kept it for 14 years and it looked the same you bet your ass I would be extremely concerned. Because salad is supposed to be fresh. But this is fast food we’re talking about here. Diarrhea of the gods.

If anything I’m pretty sure this is a huge stepping stone in curing world hunger right? Could you imagine if every mcdonalds in the world saved one burger each day and after 14 years just dispersed all of them out to people in need? Christ almighty with an idea like that I deserve a nobel prize. At the very least a bid for presidency. Silky Mitts 4 President!

– Silky Mitts

@FGsilkymitts

Original Link: MSN

Samoa Airline To Charge Only By Weight of Passenger In What Can Only Be Defined As The Greatest Idea In History.

Samoa Airline To Charge Only By Weight of Passenger In What Can Only Be Defined As The Greatest Idea In History.

Next to free porn this has got to be the greatest idea of all time, right? No more paying the same for a plane ticket as the 450+ lb sweaty tourist with mounds of fat melting over your arm rest who can only breathe with his mouth open. No more paying the same for a person who is so fat they have to sit on their side to fit in the seat so their ass is staring right into your soul. Samoa airlines just setting the bar for every other shitty airline. My only wish is that this catches on for major airlines.

Can you imagine how sweet it’s going to be now to ride with Samoa airlines? Nothing but smoke shows and decent looking people all chewing with their mouths closed, breathing through their nose, not constantly sweating from sitting in a chair for an hour. If Jet Blue adapts this policy I can’t see any airline competing. Well, maybe City Airlines.

– Silky Mitts

Original Link: http://www.newser.com/article/da5dr4ug3/samoa-airline-to-charge-only-by-weight-of-passenger-bags-for-international-domestic-flights.html

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