Flow God of the week…playoff edition: Mats Zuccarello a.k.a the hobbit

Left winger for the New York Rangers. Flow as batshit insane as Zucci himself. Better get a complimentary plate of bread sticks with all that lettuce. This dude probably weighs 160 with 155 being straight from the top of his dome piece. Hobbit flow stealing the show.

– Silky Mitts

Flow God of the Week…Playoff Edition: Tyler Bozak

Tyler Bozak

Center for the Toronto Maple Leafs. Don’t know if you’ve been watching the leafs/bruins series, but Bozak’s flow is stealing the god damn show. Leafs may be down 1-3 in the series but with flow as relentless as Bozak’s I just can’t see an early exit. Physically impossible for the Leafs to lose next game. Unless he gets a hair cut. In which case 4-1 Bruins.

– Silky Mitts

Flow God of the Week…Playoff Edition: Daniel Alfredsson

Alffy Flow

Right wing and long time captain of the Ottawa Senators. Flow so crunchy and perfect he makes young Patrick Swayze look like a cancer patient. Alfy just setting the bar for dominant playoff flow. Doesn’t matter how the sens finish, that’s lettuce for days…

– Silky Mitts

Ranking The Top 5 Greatest Hockey Mullets.

The 2013 NHL Playoffs are officially underway and what better way to celebrate than compiling a list of the greatest hockey mullets of all time. The hockey mullet is a beautiful art and with overwhelming flow comes overwhelming responsibility. One cannot simply cut the hair on the side of their head and call it a mullet, it takes much more than that. Here are the top 5 greatest hockey mullets of all time. WARNING: These mullets are so raunchy, those with weak stomachs may want to turn away. Let’s get to it!

5. Ziggy Palffy

Look up the definition of mullet in Webster’s and I would be utterly shocked if it was not just this picture. The symmetry, the proportions, perfect.

4. Marty McSorley

Over/Under 12 bottles of conditioner McSorely uses in his pre game shower? I’m goin way over.

3. Wayne Gretzky

Sure he scored a couple gino’s here, a couple helpers there, but better believe none of that would have been possible without that beautiful mullet resting atop his head.

2. Michael Handzus

By the mullet of Zeus! Looks like a god damn broom jutting out of that bucket.

1. Jaromir Jagr

Holy Mary Mother of Mullet! Jagr is and will always be the master of the mullet. Flow is just absolutely relentless. Setting the bar at an unreachable level. All hail, the Jagr mullet.

– Silky Mitts

@FGsilkymitts

Honorable Mentions: Barry Melrose, Patty Kane, Ron Duguay, Al Iafrate, Joe Dirt.

Flow God of the Week: Ryan Jones

jonesy13

Left Wing for the Edmonton Oilers. Jesus Christ, Jones. Save some flow for the rest of us will you? Unreal.

– Silky Mitts

Flow God of the Week: Ben Hanowski

Right Wing for the Calgary Flames. Came over in the Iginla deal from Pitt. Flow so earth shattering it would break the Richter Scale. As the great John Buccigross said, “lotta flow, lotta lettuce.”

– Silky Mitts

 

Name The Athlete!

Hartnell vs. WilliamsOne of these guys is a left winger for the Philadelphia Flyers, the other is a homeless guy who has been living in the jungle, wiping his ass with leaves and twigs never shaving or showering once in 20 years. Do you know which is which? It’s like I’m seeing double!

Flow God of the Week: Tyler Ennis

Flow God of the Week: Tyler Ennis

Left Wing for the Buffalo Sabres. Sabres might not be doin so well but that flow certainly is. Flow on a hundred million.

Flow God of the Week: Erik Karlsson

Flow God of the Week: Erik Karlsson

Defenseman for the Ottawa Senators. Some of the crunchiest flows these eyes have ever seen. Not too sure about that dirt under his nose but there’s no denying that beautiful lion’s mane.

– Silky Mitts

Flow God of the Week: Peter Mueller

Flow God of the Week: Peter Mueller

Center for the Florida Panthers. Not enough dressing in the world to cover all that lettuce. Gorgeous.

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