Bro “Accidentally” Shoots His Wife In The Mouth With A Harpoon, Comes Less Than An Inch From Killing Her.

So this dude claims he was cleaning his gun and it happened to fire directly in his wife’s grill. Sure thing, buddy. I feel like too often I see stories of people cleaning their harpoons and accidentally shoot someone in the face. You know what the reasonable number for amount of news stories you should see about accidental harpoon incidents a year? 1. No more, no less. And since there was already a story about the dude who harpooned himself in his head this year this leads me to believe this was no accident. No. What we have here is a classic case of man tries to kill wife with harpoon, misses by a centimeter, says it was an accident. No shot this dude “happened” to shoot his wife perfectly in her head. I may not be the smartest guy, or smart at all for that matter, but I know a failed harpoon cleaning murder attempt when I see one. Your attempt at murder failed, get over it. You may be able to fool some of the mooks on wall street but not this guy! Not Silky Mitts!

– Silky Mitts

@FGsilkymitts

Original Link: NY Post

Dude Harpoons Himself In The Face While Cleaning Harpoon, Doesn’t Go To Hospital Until The Next Day.

I don’t know the first thing about harpoons, but I will tell you this. When one of them goes through your eye I’m like 85% sure you’re supposed to immediately go to the hospital. Not 100% on that, but I’m fairly confident. This guy had a harpoon lodged in his dome piece and he actually waited until the next day to go to the hospital. That means he went about his day with a harpoon lodged through his face acting as if he didn’t have a god damn harpoon lodged in his face. Making lunch, masturbating, chillin, watchin TV, masturbating, reading a book, masturbating, all with a harpoon shoved through his face. I mean, bro, you have a giant piece of metal in the middle of your head. I don’t know if this is a tactic trying to get laid but I gotta tell you most chicks are gonna find it kinda disgusting. Shits gross dude, clean it up.

You have to figure after a while it’s more annoying than painful right? I mean if he waited an entire day to go to the hospital I’m sure it started to not hurt and now everywhere he walks hes bumping into walls pushing the harpoon further in his stupidĀ  face. Somethin like that will ruin anyone’s day. I bet his thought process was that if he ignored the giant harpoon protruding from his eye ball that it would go away. Not gonna say that’s one of the worst decisions in the world but that’s one of the worst decisions in the world hands down. Get that shit removed immediately next time buddy, cause I gotta be honest, you look pretty dumb. Not trying to be harsh, just keepin it real.

– Silky Mitts

@FGsilkymitts

Original Link: TVNZ

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