Gregory Campbell Breaks Leg Blocking Shot…Continues To Finish His Shift.

Un. Real.  Gregory Campbell putting every athlete out there on notice right now. This right here is exactly why you cannot compare hockey players to any other sport on the face of the earth*. The man LITERALLY broke his leg. The bone snapped. Not only did he get back up on his two feet, but he continued his effort to get the puck out of the zone. I’ve never seen anything like it. When basketball players think they might have felt a breeze they immediately go straight down to the ground as if they got shot. If baseball players tummy’s hurt they sit out 3-4 weeks. And don’t get me started on soccer players. Epitome of pussy athletes. I know it. You know it. Their own parents know it.  The NHL postseason is different than any other postseason and Campbell demonstrates why.

– Silky Mitts


*Maybe extreme ironing. Shit gets real.

Ice in the veins.

New Study Says Ice From Fast Food Places Is Dirtier Than Water From Your Toilet. Am I Supposed To Be Shocked?

Reason #4,567,352,654,345 why I will never understand people who complain about their fast food experiences. I thought it was a given that even something as simple as ice would still be filthier than water that we shit in. It’s fast food. Nothing and I mean NOTHING is healthy. I’m pretty sure the only way a fast food joint is allowed to open is if a food inspector watches them shove glass into burgers and makes sure the employees rub their nut sacks on the ice. Honestly, if I found out that the ice was healthier than toilet water I would be so suspicious. I would assume that instead of water they freeze piss or something. So it’s good that this study came out. Just makes ordering drinks at Burger King that much more comfortable.

Also, dogs drink out of toilets. And I heard that dogs mouths are healthier than humans mouths, or somethin like that. So no surprise ice isn’t as healthy as toilet water. Dogs (as always) know what’s up.

Oh and I don’t want to scare any English majors who enjoy wearing scarves in hot weather but Starbucks was involved in this study.  So to save you time and money instead of going to starbucks, next time just blast some heat in your toilet, throw some ice in there, scoop a big gulp and enjoy. Same basic thing.

– Silky Mitts

Original Link: Yahoo

Mother Of The Year Candidate Convinces Her Own Son He Has Cancer When He Doesn’t.

Now I’m no parent but I’m going to go out on a limb and say that one of the things you don’t want to do is tell your kid he’s dying from cancer when he totally doesn’t have cancer. I don’t want to step on toes I have no business stepping on but if I had to guess I would say lying to your kid telling him he has cancer is probably something you don’t want to do. Maybe even like top 3 or 4 things a parent shouldn’t do.

The town even rallied together and raised $3,500 for the poor kid and this woman kept her mouth shut the whole time. Disgusting. Karma is not going to be kind to her. I can’t say I’m 100% sure that this woman is going to get cancer herself but I can say that I’m 500% sure this woman is going to get cancer . She’s not going to tell her son he has cancer when he doesn’t and then dust her hands off at the end of the day and say oh well, I lied. Silly me! Guess I’ll go to therapy for while. No…you’re going to get cancer. Ass cancer. And for people who think I’m guessing this, it ain’t no guess, it’s what it’s gonna be.

– Silky Mitts


Original Link: NY Post

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