Barney’s and NYPD In Hot Water After Arresting Kid Who Bought $350 Belt Because They Didn’t Think Someone Like Him Could Afford It.

Pictured is Trayon Christian, the kid who Barney’s thought there was no way could buy a $350 belt. I’m not one to pull out the race card, cause, well, I’m white. I don’t need to. Ever. But I gotta pull the race card on this one. I mean, this dude’s name is Trayon Christian. That’s way too close to Trayvon Martin. Barney’s saw some kid named Trayon, immediately didn’t trust him, and called the cops. I know it, you know, everyone and their gumar knows it. Love how Barney’s is playing the dumb card too. Like Oh, we do this shit all the time, oh he’s black? I had no idea he was black! Seriously! Listen, everyone is entitled to their own opinion, and if you’re gonna be racist than be racist. But don’t spit on my dick and tell me it’s raining.

p.s. So much money just for a belt, uh? Probably a lucky white belt. You can never have enough lucky white belts.

– Silky Mitts

Original Link: Gothamist

Remember That Cop From UC Davis That Peppered Sprayed Those College Kids? He Just Got Awarded $38,000. Justice is Restored.


Listen, there are few things I hate in this world. People that choose cats over dogs, girls that aren’t 18 yet, and occupy hippie pussies. $38,000 might have been a bit much but at the same time it totally isn’t. Nothing makes my blood boil more than over privileged college hippies that feel the need to protest every little thing and act like the victim even though their parents pay for their college education. Shit drove me nuts when I was at school. My college cost so much yet these gay wads would set up little Occupy movements around our campus that no one gave a shit about. These kids have every option at their discretion, have the whole world in front of them, but they choose to hold flowers singing gay songs smelling like shit acting like the victim. All these occupy protestors are just bitching and complaining cause they want what others worked hard to achieve. The people who work on Wall Street are scum bags cause they spend a stupid amount of the companies money on absolutely ridiculous things* but guess what, they still worked their asses off to get there. They didn’t sit around in a little pow-ow crying with each other until they got what they wanted. Maybe next time instead of sitting on their asses thinking that holding a sign will change anything only to get a canister of pepper spray dumped on your cornea, they’ll put in some actual effort into getting good grades so they can have a good job.

– Silky Mitts

*I base this off of absolutely nothing.

Original Link: BarstoolU

Idiot At Carnival Spends $2600 At Basket Toss Trying To Win Stuffed Dolls. Doesn’t Win Once, Sues Carnival.

Holy shit bro, you’re really trying to raise the bar on stupidity uh? This guy from New Hampshire said all he wanted to do was win stuffed dolls for his kids. I would say that’s perfectly fine if maybe the total amount you spend was $100. But it wasn’t. It was actually over 2 grand. You could have put that money towards your kids college education, or their first car, or better yet, gone to toys r us and buy about 500 stuffed dolls. Basically if you did anything else with that money it would have been better. Even if you spent it on drugs you would have gotten a buzz out of it. Instead all you got was a severely lighter wallet, disrespect and embarrassment from the kids you were trying to impress in the first place, and a wife who is probably getting banged by the carnies while they take your money.

And this guy has the fuckin balls to sue the carnival. Bro, you lost. Don’t you think you’ve been embarrassed enough already? Just take the defeat with your tail between your legs and go home. It’s like this guy thinks he’s the first person to figure out carnivals are scams. Buddy, they’re carnies. Their job is to lie to your stupid face so you give them your hard earned money. You probably didn’t wake up that morning thinking you would lose $2600, your kids respect and your wife, but shit happens. Deal with it.

– Silky Mitts


Original Link: NH Union Leader

p.s. I know these games aren’t meant to be won. I know that. But give me $2600 to play that stupid game and I will walk out with at least a couple spongebob and spiderman dolls. Easily.

Are You Shitting Me? A Playing Card Sold For $2.1 Million.

Are You Shitting Me? A Playing Card Sold For $2.1 Million.

$2,105,770.50 for a piece of cardboard with a Pittsburgh Pirate on it. Not even someone from a winning franchise. It’s the fucking Pirates. I understand the hype and obsession around collectors items, it’s really cool when only 50 of something is in existence, but to get over 2 mil for it? Shit, I think I have a shiny Charazard card from pokemon somewhere in my attic. Can I become filthy rich for that? Better yet, if a Pittsburgh Pirate card can get Joe Shithead millions of dollars I have a Tim Couch rookie card on the Cleveland Browns to sell. Selling a piece of thin cardboard for 2 mil. Only in America.

Best part about this story is that the bro was already rich and a savvy investor. Why can’t some guy in debt who’s doing some spring cleaning find a rare card? Why can’t, say, a cynical blogger who gets jealous of the rich getting richer find a million dollar card? I’m not jealous. Just, you know. Fuck that guy.

– Silky Mitts

p.s. Snooped around my attic after reading this story. How many billions of dollars are Garbage Pale Kids cards worth now? 5 bill? 100 bill???

Middle School Denies Food To Children Who Don’t Have Money.

Middle School Denies Food To Children Who Don't Have Money.

Boo hoo they didn’t get any lunch. Grow Up. I don’t see how this is news. Kids don’t have money, kids don’t eat. Basic stuff, really. You have any idea how many times I couldn’t eat at lunch because I had no money? I mean my parents gave me money for lunch, I just spent it on comic books and POGS instead but that’s besides the point.

Look, the point is that if these kids get free lunches when they have no money they’re going to grow up thinking everything is going to be handed to them. When they’re older they’re going to assume that they don’t need money when deli owners ask them to pay for their subs, or hookers ask them to pay for their 15-20 seconds worth of work. Shit gets real, real fast. Kids need to learn that.

– Silky Mitts

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