Anyone See Those Levitating Cars in China? Well They “Solved” it, Was Just a Loose Tangled Wire!


OHHHHH so it was just a wire mix up ey? Some random loose wire on the street wrapped up two buses and a car? Well that solves it, guess we don’t have to look into this anymore!

Seriously China, that’s the best you got? You may be able to fool the mooks in Washington or the suits on Wall Street but not this guy, not Silky Mitts! This is China, they’re already the closest things to Aliens so if you don’t think that I know this was alien voodoo than you’re a dink. Listen China and Aliens have been working together since before you and I were born. And the government knows it.

You’re telling me the people that eat live cats and who puke into each others mouths for fun AREN’T related to Aliens? Fuck out of my face with these shenanigans. It’s insulting to me, it’s insulting to my country. I won’t stand for this garbage. Just admit whatever project you were working on with GleepGlop and the Martians went awry and I’ll go back to blogging about gorgeous looking flow on NHLers from the boxers on my couch. Seriously China I eat enough disgusting leftover food I don’t need you pissing on my face also.

– Silky Mitts

p.s. I just realized that I probably figured out all of china’s secrets so my computer may explode sooooooo if you’re reading this just kidding lolololOLOloLOlolOLO I know its just a wire *wink wink*

p.s.s If I go missing anytime soon tell Hagelin he’s got luscious flow.

NASA Claims Mars Rover “Accidentally” Drew Penis On Mars. Yeah, Sure Thing NASA.

This picture has been floating around the internet the past couple days. NASA saying that the rover accidentally drew this and it wasn’t intentional. Fuck out of my face, NASA. Men have and will always draw penises any moment we’re given the chance. We’re just programmed to do so. Doesn’t matter if you’re 13 or 35 it will always be funny to draw penises no matter what. Whenever a dude gets some sort of canvas to draw a penis he’s going to draw it 1 billion times out of 1 billion. That’s not an opinion that’s a fact. This is the perfect example too. It’s not just the drunk college bro that draws penises in the snow with their piss, but it’s also brainiacs working for NASA that’ll carve that bad boy into another planet. To be perfectly honest I’m surprised it took this long to draw one on Mars. If I was in charge of the rover I would have mapped out a spot to draw a penis before the idea of the rover was even mentioned. Just too perfect an opportunity to let slip.

– Silky Mitts


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