Thomas Vanek Traded To Icelanders For Matty Moulson and 2 Draft Picks.

A great man once said one man’s pleasure is another man’s pain. Actually, sounds like something a rape victim would say. Anyway, that’s the exact case right here. Vanek gets to leave the worst team in the league and go to New York. Scary to think about him and JT91 playing on the same line together. Vanek is always a high point leader and he plays on the Sabres, so I think it goes without saying that he’ll thrive with a team like the Islanders. How about Matty Moulson though? You’re on a young, talented team who are finally being considered ‘good’ for the first time in about 90 years and then you get sent to Buffalo. Fucking, Buffalo. There’s nothing to do up there, I don’t think they have any electricity yet and the hottest it gets in the summer is like -140. Sick. If I were him when I was getting the call and my iPhone said from Buffalo I just wouldn’t answer. Kind of like when your boss calls you to come into work earlier so you just silence your phone. Exactly what he should have done. Moulsons real good but make no mistake he will not do nearly as good on the sabres. He had weapons like JT91, Okposo, and, um, other people.

Don’t necessarily think this was the greatest decision by Snow though. Islanders desperately need a solid tendy AND Vanek is a free agent after this year. They could have kept Moulson and then signed Vanek after the year. Guess Snow doesn’t want to wait. Don’t blame him. When I play NHL13 I trade players like crazy. Why? Because I can. If I were a GM in real life I would 1) make trades constantly and 2) be the worst GM in the history of sports.

– Silky Mitts

Islanders and Maple Leafs Both Secure Playoff Spots, Red Wings In 9th As Of Now…Reassured God Does Not Exist.

God is either on a year long vacation or hell has frozen over. I swear to god this is the most backwards season of hockey I have ever witnessed. Islanders clinch a playoff spot with 2 whole games left, Leafs have been in for a week now, Datsyuk’s team is in 9th and “Two and a Half Men” continues to get renewed…there is no god. Am I the only one absolutely baffled by this? If you told me at the beginning of the season that the Islanders and Leafs would both be making the playoffs I would have super glued a dunce cap to your head and tie you to a stake so fast you wouldn’t even have enough time to say you were just kidding. Don’t I look foolish. This post season is going to be an absolute gong show.

– Silky Mitts


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