Daredevils Fly Their Jetpacks Right Alongside A Huge Airplane

*Finishes video, changes pants, fires up the blog machine*

That horrific stench you started smelling in the middle of the video wasn’t the smell of India, that was your pants after shitting yourself. These two dudes are like 10 feet away from a massive fucking airplane. I was waiting the whole video for them to fly a bit too close to an engine and got sucked in like Syndrome from Incredibles. Remember that dumb ginger cunt?

Syndrome

These two guys did exactly what he did and flew too close to the airplane but for some reason didn’t get sucked in. I start shaking sometimes when I’m walking up a flight of stairs at a sports game, can’t imagine what was going through these bro’s minds flying a god damn jet pack around the city of Dubai an inch from a massive plane.

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Mrs. Doubtfire 2 Is Happening and Being a Cynical Asshole I Couldn’t Be Angrier.

http://filmjamblog.files.wordpress.com/2012/06/mrs-doubtfire1.jpg

(One of the creepiest images of all time)

(Huff Po): Slam a cake in your face and call it a beauty treatment because “Mrs. Doubtfire” is getting a sequel. The Hollywood Reporter announced that a follow-up to the 1993 comedy is in the works, and that Robin Williams is on board to reprise his role as the divorced dad-turned-cross-dressing housekeeper. Chris Columbus will be back in the director’s chair with David Berenbaum (“Elf”) attached to write the screenplay.

The only…and I mean the ONLY saving grace of having a sequel to this movie is that Chris Columbus is directing this movie. For those of you who don’t know he directed what could be called the greatest sequel of all time, in Home Alone 2. He directed the first one which is a life changing movie and then hit a grand slam with a sequel. Mrs. Doubtfire was very good but it was also made in 1993. A fucking TWENTY ONE year grace period between the movies only says one thing to me, and that’s that everybody involved is desperate for money. Home Alone 1 and 2 were 2 years apart. Everything was fresh. Macaulay Culkin had not yet turned to the needle and turned into a psychopath rock star. Harry and Marv just recently escaped from prison so they were free to do the movie. All the pieces fit at the time.

Robin Williams is supposedly signed on to play a tranny again and after a couple decades this movie can only suck shit. I hope I’m wrong. But I never am. That’s why I’m nervous.

– Silky Mitts

p.s. If Mrs. Doubtfire was a horror movie I think it could have been top 5 all time best horrors. Watch this shit. Goosebumps like you read about…

 

Near Extinct Baby Camel Born and is Cute as Shit

Rare Baby Camel Born in Budapest Zoo

(WebProNews): Critically endangered – possibly even extinct in the wild – the Bactrian camel is a rare species with two humps on its back and has served as a domestic pack animal since before 2500 BCE. But last Wednesday in the Budapest Zoo and Botanic Garden, a rare event occurred. A baby Bactrian camel was born. Baby Ilias was born to his 8-year old mother, Iris, whose maternal line has lived in the zoo for many generations. His father came from a zoo in Miskolc in north-eastern Hungary. Today, Ilias was presented to the media and given time to bond with his mother

I have two dogs, and they’re the best thing in my life. But if I can be honest the fact that I don’t have this Bactrian camel is KILLING me inside. This thing looks cuddly as fuck. I need this thing walking around my house. Seriously how have I gone this long without having this prehistoric camel taking shits in my backyard? I feel like a fucking idiot not having this late neolithic creature prantzing around. I could ride it to work sitting in between it’s two humps. Imagine the swarm of chicks someone would endure if caught riding a Bactrian camel. Take Gosling’s number and double it. Yeah, that many.

– Silky Mitts

Samuel L Jackson Makes Absolute Mincemeat Of This Squidly White News Anchor For Confusing Him With Lawrence Fishburne

I understand this news anchor sucks ass and does no fact checking whatsoever. But how do you mistake Samuel L Jackson for anybody? He’s arguably the most famous black actor in Hollywood. He’s even wearing his god damn patented backwards kangaroo hat! Love how Sammy L just leeeeeaned into this reporter too. White reporter thinks he’s going to spit in Sammy’s face and be able to change the subject? Think again fatso. This is mutha fuckin Sammy L Jackson! He’ll make you look like an absolute chump 12 times a day if you insult him. Clean this shit up, racist white news reporter, cause this shit is embarrassing.

And apparently he’s the entertainment reporter? So his sole job is to know actors. That’s it. One job and you fucked up.

– Silky Mitts

Original Link: TMZ

Bonus: 100 greatest samuel L jackson quotes

There’s No Way These Parents Are So Terrible They Would Shove Their Kid In A Dog Cage Strapped To The Back Of A Pickup Truck…Right?

So I already had a whole thing typed up about how degrading this must be for the girl. How it’s gotta be top 3 most embarrassing things in the entire world. I mean, you’re a human, locked inside a fucking dog cage, on the back of a moving pickup truck. Everyone can see you cramped into a cage that a small dog sleeps in.  But apparently the daughter requested that she be in the back of the truck for the ride. The parents claim that she wanted to ride…in a dog cage…in the back of a pickup truck… on the pennsylvania turnpike. Umm okay, sure thing. This girl requested to be shoved into a cage like I requested to be an unemployed blogger talking about useless news stories. This story just absolutely SCREAMS hick so loud I can hear the mothers dip spit spewing down her necks.

The best part about this story is in the video below when their grandmother says “these parents were just granting her request, they would never put her in any danger”. Ummmm newsflash honey, they just put their 10 year old daughter in a dog cage on the back of a pick up truck. What the hell is your definition of “danger”?

– Silky Mitts

Original Link: NY Post

p.s. So I just read the rest of the article and apparently the girl claimed she just wanted to be with her dog for the trip. IIIIIII kind of feel like an asshole. Cause there’s no greater bond between a human and a dog. I would gladly throw 3, 4, 500 cats in front of a speeding 18 wheeler just to talk to my dog on the phone.

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