Rangers Take It To Philly, Get 2-1 Series Lead

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All around great game. The beginning was very reminiscent of game 2 when they went up 2-0 and let the Flyers get a quick one before the end of the 1st period. Was getting kind of nervous, especially since the game was in Philly. However the absolute ROCKET of a clapper from Girardi made me blast my excitement through my pants. Once they took a 3-1 lead I felt much more comfortable. That and I was quite drunk at that point too. But the story of the game was none other than this man right here…


Dan Carcillo. Who’d a thought? Dude 100% played the best period of his life in the 3rd period of last nights game. Matt Read gave him a dirty cheap shot when he elbowed him in the face and got no call, but Carcillo didn’t miss a shift. Then a minute later Carcillo got called cause refs wanted to give the Flyers a chance to make a come back. Only excuse considering Carcillo didn’t touch anyone. And right out of the box Carcillo had a beaut of a tip in which resulted in one of the best celly’s these mitts have ever seen…

Huge, HUGE game on Friday. Rangers win and they go into the Garden with a chance to end the series. They lose and it becomes a best of 3 with 2 at home. Which, this season, hasn’t been all that great.  Let’s hope it’s the former and Rangers send Geezus* to the links early.

– Silky Mitts

*Calling Giroux “Geezus” is one of, if not the dumbest nickname in all of sports. 1) He’s canadian. 2) It doesn’t sound like Jesus. Wanna know the only similarity? They have two syllables. 3) He’s ginger. That probably should have been number 1.

p.s. That flow Carcillo’s rockin might have to be Flow of the Week.



Color Blind Facebook Employee Compiled a Map of What Stanley Cup Playoff Team You’re Rooting For


So this is the map Facebook made and I have to say its pretty fucking dumb. Most of them make sense, Florida roots for Lightning, Texas for Stars, but there are too many that jump out as ludicrous. Nevada rooting for Chicago? Is that real? ALL THREE TEAMS from California are in the playoffs and you wanna tell me that most people from Nevada root for Chi town? Fuck outta here facebook. I may be dumb, i may stupid, but, um. It just makes no sense, okay. Like most things in this world only thing I can think about is that it has to do with gambling. But that state under nevada too? What ever the fuck its called is rooting for the Blackhawks? That’s chucklesome .But of all the states the most absurd are Louisiana, Alabama and Gerogia. They’re all rooting for the Detroit Red Wings? The fuck? I looked up the wings roaster to make sure no one is from down south and the closest person to the south is some dude from New Jersey. Louisiana is closer to the Stars and the Lightning. Maybe you see this and it relates to you but if you’re from N’Orleans rooting for the Red Wings you’re an asshole, plain and simple.

– Silky Mitts

p.s. I binged* a map of usa cause i’m an idiot and the VERY FIRST map on bing for “map of usa” is this…


*I typed in my toolbar “map of usa” instead of google cause I just cleared my whole cache and didn’t feel like typing in the whole google.com name. Yes i do realize i just typed it in.

Rangers vs. Flyers Pump Up Video

Broadway vs. Broad Street baby! This video was made by some dude named metrangerfan711 but he did a great job. What a first round match up though. These teams have such a history, it’s gonna be a god damn blood bath to win this series. Rangers vs Flyers, Good guys vs scum bag flyers, Broadways best vs the cunts. Physically can’t wait for this series to start. Seriously my laptops on my lap as I type this and I can’t use half the keys cause I shot my excitement all over the keyboard. Being a Rangers fan I don’t want to come off as bias so my honest to god series prediction is Rangers in 4 and Lundqvist gets a shut out in every single game. And I’m a firm believer in jinxes, so you know it has to be true otherwise I wouldn’t say it.

I know what you’re thinking, “Silky Mitts, how can you be so confident that the King will post a shutout in 4 straight games?”


Next Question.

“But they have a gritty team with Simmonds and Hartnell. How do you expect to contain them?

Answer: Cause Simmonds sucks and Hartnell looks like robin williams in Jumanji when he came back from the jungle

Hartnell vs. Williams

Boom roasted next.

“I’ve got no more questions, that was perfect”

– Silky Mitts

Ranking The Top 5 Greatest Hockey Mullets.

The 2013 NHL Playoffs are officially underway and what better way to celebrate than compiling a list of the greatest hockey mullets of all time. The hockey mullet is a beautiful art and with overwhelming flow comes overwhelming responsibility. One cannot simply cut the hair on the side of their head and call it a mullet, it takes much more than that. Here are the top 5 greatest hockey mullets of all time. WARNING: These mullets are so raunchy, those with weak stomachs may want to turn away. Let’s get to it!

5. Ziggy Palffy

Look up the definition of mullet in Webster’s and I would be utterly shocked if it was not just this picture. The symmetry, the proportions, perfect.

4. Marty McSorley

Over/Under 12 bottles of conditioner McSorely uses in his pre game shower? I’m goin way over.

3. Wayne Gretzky

Sure he scored a couple gino’s here, a couple helpers there, but better believe none of that would have been possible without that beautiful mullet resting atop his head.

2. Michael Handzus

By the mullet of Zeus! Looks like a god damn broom jutting out of that bucket.

1. Jaromir Jagr

Holy Mary Mother of Mullet! Jagr is and will always be the master of the mullet. Flow is just absolutely relentless. Setting the bar at an unreachable level. All hail, the Jagr mullet.

– Silky Mitts


Honorable Mentions: Barry Melrose, Patty Kane, Ron Duguay, Al Iafrate, Joe Dirt.

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