Bro “Accidentally” Shoots His Wife In The Mouth With A Harpoon, Comes Less Than An Inch From Killing Her.

So this dude claims he was cleaning his gun and it happened to fire directly in his wife’s grill. Sure thing, buddy. I feel like too often I see stories of people cleaning their harpoons and accidentally shoot someone in the face. You know what the reasonable number for amount of news stories you should see about accidental harpoon incidents a year? 1. No more, no less. And since there was already a story about the dude who harpooned himself in his head this year this leads me to believe this was no accident. No. What we have here is a classic case of man tries to kill wife with harpoon, misses by a centimeter, says it was an accident. No shot this dude “happened” to shoot his wife perfectly in her head. I may not be the smartest guy, or smart at all for that matter, but I know a failed harpoon cleaning murder attempt when I see one. Your attempt at murder failed, get over it. You may be able to fool some of the mooks on wall street but not this guy! Not Silky Mitts!

– Silky Mitts

@FGsilkymitts

Original Link: NY Post

NASA Claims Mars Rover “Accidentally” Drew Penis On Mars. Yeah, Sure Thing NASA.

This picture has been floating around the internet the past couple days. NASA saying that the rover accidentally drew this and it wasn’t intentional. Fuck out of my face, NASA. Men have and will always draw penises any moment we’re given the chance. We’re just programmed to do so. Doesn’t matter if you’re 13 or 35 it will always be funny to draw penises no matter what. Whenever a dude gets some sort of canvas to draw a penis he’s going to draw it 1 billion times out of 1 billion. That’s not an opinion that’s a fact. This is the perfect example too. It’s not just the drunk college bro that draws penises in the snow with their piss, but it’s also brainiacs working for NASA that’ll carve that bad boy into another planet. To be perfectly honest I’m surprised it took this long to draw one on Mars. If I was in charge of the rover I would have mapped out a spot to draw a penis before the idea of the rover was even mentioned. Just too perfect an opportunity to let slip.

– Silky Mitts

@FGsilkymitts

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