Kaner Does It Again.

(vine made by @JFeitelberg from barstoolsports.com)

Is it just me or does it seem like every time the Blackhawks win a playoff game in OT it’s scored by Patrick Kane? I swear to god this kid is so talented it makes my head hurt. He’s won a silver medal in the olympics, got the game winning Stanley Cup goal against Philly a couple years ago, had this double OT series winning goal last year that included the top 3 nicest cellys ever…

oh and for those of you counting at home he’s 25. Which makes me want to rock my head through a cement wall. Say what you want about how he doesn’t show during the olympics (he really reaaaaaally didn’t show at all this past olympics) but during the NHL he comes through every single time you need him. Pure talent from head to toe. What a game, gonna make a great finish to the series.

– Silky Mitts

@fgsilkymitts

Behind The Scenes(ish) of Paulina Gretzky’s Golf Digest Photo Shoot.

Now I’ll be the first to admit this isn’t the most riskay thing I’ve seen from Paulina, but you better believe any time her or her father are in the news they’ll be blogged about on Flow Gods. Whenever she comes on my screen an unhealthy amount of blood rushes to my pants and my knee jerk reaction is to rub one out blog about her for you people. She honestly crosses off everything on my check list. Leaks sex from every pore on her body. Daughter of (1 of) of the greatest hockey players of all time. Is a whore. The perfect woman.

– Silky Mitts

Original Link: Huff Po

P.s. Since I was staring at all these pictures for the past hour I figured you should too…

http://coxrare.files.wordpress.com/2013/11/paulina-3.jpg

 

 

Shakira’s Ass Is Literally So Powerful That Colombia Wants To Ban Her New Video, Which By The Way Just Made Me Rip A Hole Through My Pants

Dear Mother of God! Stop the fight! Shakira’s ass just putting a god damn beat down on dicks from sea to shining sea! Did you see the way she was grinding up on the wall? I would murder the 10 closest people in my life if it meant I got to lick the wall a year after this video. That ass as some unreal hypnotic powers and I love it.

Anyway, to talk about the article…some columbian broad is complaining because Shakira’s ass is lights out and I’m guessing she’s a 55 year old shriveled up blue-haired whose pussy hasn’t seen any action since early 80’s. So of course she wants it banned. Now if you excuse me I’m going to rub one out so hard the friction’s gonna be able to start a fire.

shakira 1

– Silky Mitts

Original Link: CNN

Doesn’t Matter If You’re A Male, Female, Straight or Gay. The New Red Band Trailer With Jennifer Aniston Is A Must See.

Went from 6 to midnight in record time with this one. You know she”s 44 years old? Don’t even know how that’s possible.

(skip to 1:58 if you’re lazy. Like me.)

– Silky Mitts

Maxim Puts Manti Te’o’s Fake Girlfriend In Hottest 100 List.

Really Maxim? Trying to be topical much? This is the dumbest thing I’ve seen since Mind of Mencia. What editor saw this and gave it the green light? Gotta be a blind monkey with downs right? Only explanation to wasting a spot on Maxim’s top 100 with a floating bikini. And they made her #69 too. Get it! Like, the sex move?! That’s genius! Jesus christ, Maxim. Put your bat down and stop abusing that horse that’s been decaying for quite some time now. We get it. Te’o didn’t have a girfriend. It was funny the first 138,749,756,174,357,287,465 times we heard a fake GF joke. But honestly, if you make a derpy Te’o joke right now best believe I’m gonna roll my eyes so hard I’ll be able to see my cranium. Not to mention putting a fake woman at #69 means you’re implying there are 31 women who are uglier than an invisible woman. A stat like that will obliterate any woman’s self esteem.

So great joke Maxim, glad to know you think #70 Nina Agdal…

was ranked uglier than this…

– Silky Mitts

@FGsilkymitts

Maxim Top 100 List

p.s. Miley Cyrus at #1? Is this list a joke and it’s just going over my head? Was the list made by The Onion? Is it April 1st? I seriously don’t understand this at all. My head hurts. I’m going to bed.

Emma Watson On Stripper Pole GIF Will Make Your Life Suck A Little Less.

I probably would murder the 7 closest people to me to trade lives with that pole for .5 seconds. Wait, on second thought, I definitely would.

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