Idiot At Carnival Spends $2600 At Basket Toss Trying To Win Stuffed Dolls. Doesn’t Win Once, Sues Carnival.

Holy shit bro, you’re really trying to raise the bar on stupidity uh? This guy from New Hampshire said all he wanted to do was win stuffed dolls for his kids. I would say that’s perfectly fine if maybe the total amount you spend was $100. But it wasn’t. It was actually over 2 grand. You could have put that money towards your kids college education, or their first car, or better yet, gone to toys r us and buy about 500 stuffed dolls. Basically if you did anything else with that money it would have been better. Even if you spent it on drugs you would have gotten a buzz out of it. Instead all you got was a severely lighter wallet, disrespect and embarrassment from the kids you were trying to impress in the first place, and a wife who is probably getting banged by the carnies while they take your money.

And this guy has the fuckin balls to sue the carnival. Bro, you lost. Don’t you think you’ve been embarrassed enough already? Just take the defeat with your tail between your legs and go home. It’s like this guy thinks he’s the first person to figure out carnivals are scams. Buddy, they’re carnies. Their job is to lie to your stupid face so you give them your hard earned money. You probably didn’t wake up that morning thinking you would lose $2600, your kids respect and your wife, but shit happens. Deal with it.

– Silky Mitts

@FGsilkymitts

Original Link: NH Union Leader

p.s. I know these games aren’t meant to be won. I know that. But give me $2600 to play that stupid game and I will walk out with at least a couple spongebob and spiderman dolls. Easily.

Fat Shit Superfan Sues Derrick Rose Claiming His Absence Caused The Fan’s Depression And Fat-assness.

I’ve never been more on someone’s side than I am with this Chicago Bulls superfan. Some people are absolutely insane when it comes to sports. Some people don’t get it, but sports are like a religion. Actually, it’s more serious. Religion is a bunch of made up stories like hippies eating shrooms and seeing talking snakes or walking thousands of miles in the desert to deliver frankincense. Sports you’re born into. Sports are too real. You live and die for your teams. You invest years and lifetimes for it. Rose’s absence actually caused this fan to experience mental anguish, emotional stress, and gain a shit ton of weight. Basically, he gave up on life and became a slob. But guess what? It’s not his fault. This is America. And when the star player of your team misses all year you can sue him for all the depression it’s caused you. If Rangers goalie Lundqvist got injured right now and missed the rest of the season not only would I spiral into a crippling depression, but I’d probably lose all motor skills and forget how to breathe.

I would love for this guy to be a fan of Orlando Magic or Detroit Lions or Florida Panthers. Teams that have always and will always suck asshole. His team is in the playoffs without Rose and he’s still bitching. Buddy, some people are forced to be Toronto Maple Leafs fans. Do you know that some of their fans wear bags over their heads? They wear fucking paper bags, over their stupid heads. But you know what, they’d rather wear a paper bag than root for another team. That’s how crazy sports are. This bro won’t even kind of come close to winning this case and will probably result in further depression and weight gain, but, god speed sir. god speed.

– Silky Mitts

@FGsilkymitts

Original Link: Bleacher Report

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