Dudes From University Of Iceland Create App To Prevent Incest. Finally!

About time! You have any idea how many times I’ve met a girl at a bar and after wooing her for hours I find out we have the same cousin? Or how many times I’m in the middle of having sex and we realize we have the same mother? Shit gets annoying after a while. Thank god these bros developed an app for all this accidental incest that’s going around.

But seriously, the best part about this whole story? The fact that these guys not only had to have experienced incest once before, but they must have experienced it so many times that it got so frustrating they had to make an app. They probably fucked their cousin one time and thought, gee that sucked, I’ll have to be more careful. Then the next night they go out and fuck their 2nd cousin. I can understand how frustrating that may be. If I was in their shoes I would have created a remedy to my family fucking problems as well.

The way the app works is you touch your phone to the other persons phone and it alerts you if you share the same family members. How suspenseful must that moment be when you’re about to touch phones with a girl you’ve been flirting with for the past hour or so? So much going through your head. Time slows down, heart speeds up. If it doesn’t go off you get to take her home, if it goes off you realize that you want to fuck your cousin. Real dilemma. Wanting to sleep with a girl only to have your phone say you’re related has to be top 3 worst feelings in the world next to realizing you have to shit immediately after a shower and having no milk left after you already poured the cereal. Shit will ruin your day.

– Silky Mitts

@FGsilkymitts

Original Link: MSNBC

Dude Loses Both Of His Hands, Gets New Bionic Hands That Can Do Anything.

This futuristic shit absolutely blows my mind. Pair of hands that look straight out of I, Robot. If you’re too lazy to watch the video, the guy with the robot hands can do anything from grabbing a jelly bean to being able to hold his children again. Really heart warming stuff. But more importantly, how pumped is this bro he can finally crack stick again? Just going months without being able to masturbate. Could drive even the bravest of men to insanity.

And this thing is controlled by an iPhone app. That freaks me out. Yeah this whole thing seems like a great idea, for now. What, do you think Apple is stupid? You think they did all this to help this guy out? Umm not falling for it. Yeah sure it’s just hands now, but before you know it there will be full robots controlled by Apple enslaving all of mankind. What did they think, that I wasn’t going to pick up on their master plan? Sorry Apple, you gotta wake up a lot earlier if you want to pull one past Silky Mitts.

– Silky Mitts

@FGsilkymitts

Original Link: CNN

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