Anyone See Those Levitating Cars in China? Well They “Solved” it, Was Just a Loose Tangled Wire!

 

OHHHHH so it was just a wire mix up ey? Some random loose wire on the street wrapped up two buses and a car? Well that solves it, guess we don’t have to look into this anymore!

Seriously China, that’s the best you got? You may be able to fool the mooks in Washington or the suits on Wall Street but not this guy, not Silky Mitts! This is China, they’re already the closest things to Aliens so if you don’t think that I know this was alien voodoo than you’re a dink. Listen China and Aliens have been working together since before you and I were born. And the government knows it.

You’re telling me the people that eat live cats and who puke into each others mouths for fun AREN’T related to Aliens? Fuck out of my face with these shenanigans. It’s insulting to me, it’s insulting to my country. I won’t stand for this garbage. Just admit whatever project you were working on with GleepGlop and the Martians went awry and I’ll go back to blogging about gorgeous looking flow on NHLers from the boxers on my couch. Seriously China I eat enough disgusting leftover food I don’t need you pissing on my face also.

– Silky Mitts

p.s. I just realized that I probably figured out all of china’s secrets so my computer may explode sooooooo if you’re reading this just kidding lolololOLOloLOlolOLO I know its just a wire *wink wink*

p.s.s If I go missing anytime soon tell Hagelin he’s got luscious flow.

Nazi Enthusiast Who Named His Children “Adolf Hitler” and “JoyceLynn Aryan Nation” Legitimately Confused Why He Has To Fight In Court For Custody Of His Children. Oh and He Showed Up To Court In Full Blown Nazi Threads.

This story is an absolute riot.  This proves how dumb people like this father are. His kids Little Adolf and Aryan Nation are taken away from him so naturally there’s only one logical thing to do to get them back…show up to court dressed to the Nazi 9’s. This bro fucked up so many times it’s comical. Name your kid after the #2 most hated man (Lebron #1) in the world? Check. Prove to the court you’re a sane man who can handle children by dressing in nazi clothes? Check. Make sure your sweet new swastika tat is poppin out for the judge and jury to see? Check.  Absolute looney central.

I know this is a free country and all so you’re free to do what you want. But bro, you can’t seriously think you can rock (the OG) Hitler’s outfit to a US court and expect people to give you the benefit of the doubt?  I could wear my bed sheet over my head to the middle of Detroit but if I expect anything but a prompt stabbing I’m as foolish as a Mets fan. So just take a breath, look in the mirror, and kill yourself. Cause you’re not only making yourself look ridiculous but you’re making Little Adolf and Aryan pretty embarrassed too.

– Silky Mitts

Original Link: Barstool Sports

p.s. Bro, your ball n chain…woof.

p.p.s. Want to make fun of the shit on his upper lip so bad but it doesn’t hold a match to Jordon’s hitler stash.

So nasty. So cocky. So Jordon.